Dear Bumble Boi,
You know who you are and if you are reading this my hope isn’t to inflate your already inflated ego and it’s most certainly not because you deserve the time of day. It is because while I may never hear from you again, I in fact have something to say.
I’ve been perfectly fine by myself for some time now. I seemed to finally have life dialed in: my career, family, friends, the blog, a social life and I was happy and thriving all by myself! The only thing that seemed to be missing from my life was love and I had gone so long without someone filling that void, that it just seemed normal. Natural even. Until you came along and ruined it all.
The first night that I met you, 4 hours flew by like they were minutes. I don’t think I’ve laughed like that in ages and it felt good. Too good. I should have gone out with the girls that night after our date but this would be the first trap of yours that I fell into. I told myself to be guarded and I think I put up a good front. See you are a salesman and therefore a charmer so I know your type, but somehow I was outwitted from the start.
After that date you put effort in and I do have to give you that, but you and I both know why that is and it’s not because you were after my heart. Each time we hung out, the conversations that we had felt like we had known each other for years and while that seemed like a good thing at the time, maybe that was our problem all along. Maybe we skipped directly to the relationship stage without ever having dated at all.
See I know what we had was short lived but I’d be lying if I said that’s what made it all the more exhilarating and intense. I certainly questioned the sincerity behind each compliment and if our seemingly easy, deep conversations were too good to be true. I’d never had a guy communicate quite the way that you could and this intrigued me. I even joked that I had never met a guy that talked more than I did (and that is still true), but the way you analyzed me and each situation is what made me fall for you. While you might not have been great at a lot of things (like cooking a steak or being on time), you had a way of knowing exactly what I was thinking and what I wanted to say even before I did. If that’s not a super power in itself, I’m not sure what is. That and boy did you know how to make me laugh. Those 2 things are what unknowingly sealed the deal.
We went through some hard things that I could say played a factor in our demise but that would be a lie because it started long before that and we both know why. You see, I’m not sure what your intentions were at the beginning, but I now know that they weren’t pure. The flattery and talks about the future were just words to you with apparently no meaning behind them at all. I didn’t put too much thought into what you were saying at the time because I didn’t plan on falling for the charmer that I figured had charmed a million other girls.
You said that I was different and we had several inside jokes that made me believe this might be true. We would stay up late talking about anything and everything as if when we were together there was never enough time. We talked about meeting each other’s parents and what we wanted out of a relationship. You talked about the future as if I was a part of it. I like to think that I easily kept up my guard until that day that you were telling me about your family and sang me your grandpa’s favorite song. I looked at you and thought “this boy doesn’t lack confidence and that is for sure”. But it was more than that, it was the first time you let your guard down around me and somehow you instantly dropped mine too.
But like I said, I know your type and there is only one person that is ever going to satisfy you the most, and that’s you. So while you made it seem like I wasn’t just another girl, I was never going to be good enough for you because right now you only live to serve one person and that person is not a girl. I never stood a chance. So why did you do it? Why did you say the things you said to me if you didn’t plan to follow through? Why when things started to get tough did you immediately run away? See I knew you would hurt me from the beginning but I never expected it to be this way. I didn’t expect you to awaken feelings and then completely shut them out. I didn’t expect a coward that treats women like they are disposable. And I most certainly didn’t think that one day I would wake up to never hear from you ever again. No goodbye, no call, not even a text. So yea, I didn’t expect to regret having ever met you at all.
