Life

Call Me Old Fashioned

Top: Similar | Pants: AG | Shoes: Johnston & Murphy (under $100) | Purse: Similar | Sunglasses: Similar

Photography by: Banavenue

From a young age, girls read about their prince charming and we are taught to be hopeless romantics from day one. Well nowhere in any of the fairytale books that mom was reading to me did it say anything about finding my prince charming in a bar or on a dating app but as we grow up and start to enter into the real world, we realize this whole dating and relationship thing is a little (ok, a LOT) more complex than Cinderella made it seem.

We now have so many more variables to deal with in the dating world than our parents ever did and don’t they just love to remind us of the “good ol days” every chance that they get? I can just hear mom saying now “why can’t you just pick up the phone and call one another?”. O Mom, don’t you know that there are a million and one other ways to try to contact someone before actually making direct contact?!

We now live in the age of social media, texting, and other superficial ways of flirting. Before you can even think about going on a date, you have to go through all of these hoops just to get there. First it’s the exchanging of numbers, then it’s some superficial small talk over text, and then maybe you even add one another on one or five million forms of social media. You can’t just come right out and ask to go out for drinks because that would make you seem crazy!! Believe me, I feel just as ridiculous typing this as you probably do reading it, but that my friends is what our world has come to!

I am not shaming anyone who has met their significant other in a bar or on a dating app because I have most certainly met guys in both scenarios. I am more so upset with the fact that since we do have all of these variables to deal with, it’s like nobody knows how to be direct and forth coming! All of these variables allow us to hide behind our little smart phones and play games. Whether we want to admit it or not, that’s what it is, it’s mind games! Why are we making dating so much harder than it has to be? Why can’t we just come out and say “hey, I like you?” without sounding too needy or too clingy?

So yea, call me old fashioned but I am still holding out for one of the good ones. A guy that has no issues with picking up the phone and having a conversation until 2 in the morning. Not someone that purposely waits 5 hours to respond to a text message (because that’s playing the game right?) or would rather send filtered snapchats back and forth than hang out with me in person. I’m tired of the mind games, I’m tired of the lack of self confidence that social media has built, and I’m tired of a dating world that is built on forms of communication that aren’t organic.

If you are riding the single bus and feel my struggle, all that I can say is that our prince charming is out there and when you find him, he is not going to play games. If there is one thing that I am certain of, it is that if a guy genuinely likes you, he will do anything in his power to talk to you and get to know you. Not text you every other day, not Snapchat you at 2 am, not Instagram direct message you because he saw you post a picture in a swimsuit, not Facebook message you because he sees you are online. No ladies, don’t stand for any of that. He will want to hang out with you and if he can’t do that, he will still make it known the best way that he knows how that he likes you. Now, I can’t tell you how that will look because here I am still single, but believe me, if a guy is into you, you should know without a doubt and if you don’t, well then he isn’t worth your time. *Tell him boy bye*

So hold out for your prince charming. The one that mom read you fairytales about. The dating world might look a whole lot different than it did in those children books and even now with all of the perfect ending chick flicks, but I promise you, he is out there. Maybe in a bar, maybe on a dating app, or maybe someone in passing, but make sure to hold out for the one that doesn’t make you question if he likes you, one day you will just know. And that’s the one worth holding out for!

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My Surgery Diaries

Hip Dysplasia Surgery, PAO, Big News reveal

Well I’ve sat down to write this post more times than I can count and each time I end up calling it off. I had planned to tell you all about my surgery prior to it actually happening. Then I decided I would wait until after the fact so that I would have more answers and more understanding of what my actual condition would be.

Well fast forward to a week after surgery and each day has been a struggle. Sitting up in bed, reaching for a glass of water, sleeping, eating, and other basic activities are seemingly impossible. And to be frank, writing a blog post has been the least of my worries. As much as I have wanted to fill you all in on what has been going on in my life, sometimes life itself gets in the way. Sometimes it’s messy and ugly and down right hard.

Last Friday, I had major hip surgery on my left hip in order to correct hip dysplasia. The surgery that I had was called a Periacetabular Osteotomy or a PAO for short. I’ll save you the trouble of running to your good friend Google and summarize what this is but let me first tell you how it all started.

Although I was never tested as a baby, I was most likely born with hip dysplasia as it is not something that is commonly developed after birth. I did not discover that I had this until 5th grade when I felt like my right hip was popping out of socket. Several doctors later and I found out that that was not the case and that I had a more serious issue. Insert my hip dysplasia diagnosis here.

I went from doctor to doctor to doctor all the way through high school and each one said the same thing. I would have to have major surgery that would put me in bed for 3 months and then would later have to learn to walk again. Well at this point in my life and being that my hips didn’t KILL me, the obvious answer for this college party ready girl was a HELL NO to surgery.

Fast forward about 6 years and I now have a desk job where I sit for 8 hours a day. Apparently my hips have a problem with that being that they are all high maintenance and what not. I decided it was time to go see another doctor. He said my only answer was surgery so I went to another doctor to which I heard the same diagnosis.

Here was the hard part. I was not in excruciating pain. My hips did not cause me daily pain. I was living what I thought to be a pretty normal life. I was having to make a decision to undergo a major surgery solely on the fact that my hips were disintegrating and at some point they would completely give out. At that point, my only option would be total hip replacements. My doctor told me it could be 2 years or it could be 10 but either way the hips that you are born with will always be better than fake ones.

I’ve always been a realist and someone who needs to see all of the facts. I talked to a couple of girls who had had this same surgery and both of them decided to go through with it because they were in serious pain. So why did I need to do this? For me it was completely preventative and not so much a necessity right now. Thoughts like “what if I could make it another 25 years on these hips” consumed me. I felt like why put myself through this now when I could play my odds and see how long my hips could make it?

At this point I prayed. I prayed hard. I prayed for a sign because I honestly had no idea what to do. On one hand I rationalized that this would technically be the perfect time to do it. My job was flexible enough that I could take off for the surgery, I was not tied down with a significant other or kids, and my parents were willing to take care of me post-op. On the other hand I felt like why fix something that is not broken? Ok so I was kind of broken. But I have always been the type that won’t take any sort of medicine or seek help until I’m basically dying. So the thought of undergoing “preventative” surgery was just crazy talk to me.

Well from the time that I started praying for clarity, my hip pain got considerably worse. I was experiencing pain every day and at a stronger pain level than I had ever had. Keep in mind this started after we were told that our only option was surgery from TWO different doctors. This was my sign people. I’ve gone 25 years on these hips and they had never hurt me the way they did in the 2 months leading up to my surgery.

We scheduled my PAO surgery for my left hip for March 24th (last Friday). I would have to have both hips done separately as this is a major surgery and only one hip could be done at a time. My right hip will be done at a later date. Long story short, a PAO is where the surgeon cuts out the socket portion of your hip, rotates it to correctly cover the hip ball, and reattaches it with several screws. The surgery was 6 hours long and I had to stay in the hospital for 4 days. So pretty serious stuff.

The good news is that I am home (well at my parent’s) and I have an AMAZING nurse aka Mama bear 🙂 It is a long road to recovery but I am getting stronger and more mobile each day. I have been completely overwhelmed by family, friends and even complete strangers that have reached out to me to bless me with their prayers, presence and gifts. Never have I ever felt so loved and for that I am truly thankful to each and every one of you. It is because of all of you that I have felt motivated to continue on and push through the pain. I know that this phase is temporary and that God promises comforting for the broken hearted and pain stricken.

God never allows pain without a purpose in the lives of His children. He never allows Satan, nor circumstances, nor any ill-intending person to afflict us unless He uses that affliction for our good. God never wastes pain. He always causes it to work together for our ultimate good, the good of conforming us more to the likeness of His Son (Romans 8:28-29)

I know that this may not answer all of your questions right now and I apologize for leaving you all in the dark for the time being. I greatly appreciate your thoughts, prayers, and well wishes during this time as well as understanding that I’m not completely sure what my blogging schedule will be like. Since writing is a huge outlet for me, I don’t foresee becoming a stranger to you all, but then again these pain meds make me say and do some crazy things so I apologize in advance for any crazy talk, inappropriate language, rants, and anything else that seems un-Shelbi-like. Just go with it 🙂

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Binge Worthy Netflix Shows

Casual winter style: distressed denim + lace up bell sleeve sweater + cognac suede boots

Casual winter style: distressed denim + lace up bell sleeve sweater + cognac suede boots

Casual winter style: distressed denim + lace up bell sleeve sweater + cognac suede boots

Casual winter style: distressed denim + lace up bell sleeve sweater + cognac suede boots

Casual winter style: distressed denim + lace up bell sleeve sweater + cognac suede boots

Casual winter style: distressed denim + lace up bell sleeve sweater + cognac suede boots

Casual winter style: distressed denim + lace up bell sleeve sweater + cognac suede boots

Casual winter style: distressed denim + lace up bell sleeve sweater + cognac suede boots

Top: Forever 21 | Jeans: Nordstrom | Boots: Similar | Earrings: Bauble Bar | Lipstick: MAC “Diva”

If we are being honest here, I am not a big television fan. Mostly because once I start, I can’t stop. I tend to get sucked in from the very beginning. I am talking season one, episode one of just about every show that I watch. Hence why I try to cut back on starting any new shows.  I haven’t put a blog post up in a week and a big reason why is because of my newest Netflix obsession. Productivity has gone out the window, just when all of these 2017 New Year’s Resolutions should have started taking effect. I’m thinking 2018 will be my year.

I gave a good portion of my life last year to Grey’s Anatomy and I’m pretty sure a little bit of my heart too. While I am taking a head count, I’d like to add sleep and tears to that list. Let’s just say it took a very big toll on me and I was somewhat of an emotional wreck after it ended. I couldn’t bring myself to start a new series for months. Dramatic much?

I have heard from multiple friends and family members some shows that I HAVE to watch so I am listing my top 5 that I plan on watching this year below. I know, I know some of you watched these years ago but I am finally down to see what all of the hype is about!

1) Shameless 

2) Stranger Things

3) Orange is the New Black

4) Gilmore Girls

5) Friday Night Lights

If there are some that didn’t make my list but you think they should be, please send them my way! I’ll take all of the unproductivity that I can take 🙂

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Momma’s Homemade Hot Chocolate

Holiday homemade 4 ingredient hot chocolate

Holiday homemade 4 ingredient hot chocolate

One of my favorite guilty pleasures during the holiday season and well after Christmas, is Momma’s homemade hot chocolate. For as long as I can remember I have helped my mom make several batches of this goodness for ourselves and also as gifts to others. To this day I have at least one cup a day if not more! It is the perfect treat to remedy your sweet tooth and also to keep yourself warm. I can’t imagine the holidays without it!

I always venture out at restaurants to try and get my hot chocolate fix but I have yet to find any hot chocolate that competes with Momma’s. Seriously. If you find some, please let me know! You can also ask several of my friends that come over just to have a cup! I finally talked Momma into letting me share her magical recipe with all of you. Would you believe me if I told you it was only 4 ingredients?! Sometimes I can’t even believe it myself!

Ingredients

1 (8 quart) box of powdered milk

1 lb. box of Nestles Nesquick

1 (6 oz.) jar of hazelnut Coffee Mate

1 cup of powdered sugar

Optional: peppermint sticks, mini marshmallows, mini chocolate chips

*This makes about 40 single cup servings*

Directions

Pour your powdered milk, Nesquick, Coffee Mate and powdered sugar into a container. Mix thoroughly and you are ready to serve. Serve 1/3 cup mixture to 2/3 cup hot water. Stir with a spoon. Garnish with your choice of a peppermint stick, mini marshmallows or mini chocolate chips.

If you are gifting the hot chocolate pour mixture into your small container so that it fills the container up about 2/3. You can find similar containers on Amazon here or I picked these up at my local Dollar Tree. Mason jars are also a cute alternative and can be used year round. Once you have poured in your mixture, fill the remaining 1/3 with mini marshmallows. Finish off your hot chocolate container with a bow to attach your peppermint sticks.

Step 1

Holiday homemade 4 ingredient hot chocolate

Step 2

Holiday homemade 4 ingredient hot chocolate

Step 3

Holiday homemade 4 ingredient hot chocolate

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Quarter Life Crisis

25th Birthday post, 25 things about me, Quarter life crisis moment

25th Birthday post, 25 things about me, Quarter life crisis moment

25th Birthday post, 25 things about me, Quarter life crisis moment

25th Birthday post, 25 things about me, Quarter life crisis moment

25th Birthday post, 25 things about me, Quarter life crisis moment

25th Birthday post, 25 things about me, Quarter life crisis moment

25th Birthday post, 25 things about me, Quarter life crisis moment

25th Birthday post, 25 things about me, Quarter life crisis moment

Top: Beehive (Similar one) | Pants: Levi | Booties: Vince | Clutch: Elaine Turner | Lipstick: MAC “Rebel”

Photography by: Banavenue

I can hardly believe that I am turning a quarter of a century. The BIG 2-5! My youngest sister, Kacey, has been building the hype for about a year now. Every month on the 7th, she has texted me with a count down till my birthday to remind me that I am turning a quarter of a century. 25 is a milestone birthday for sure. You aren’t quite yet to 30, but all of a sudden you are half way through your 20s and it kinda starts to feel like you should have your shit figured out. Welp, my shit ain’t figured out one bit.

While there are plenty of things that I have learned in my 20s, there is still so much more to learn and grow. It’s funny how I flip flop back and forth between wanting to become this independent, strong, hard working woman and throwing a tantrum every morning when my alarm goes off. 25 going on 5.

So cheers to 25 years and not having it ALL figured out! But I wanted to go ahead and share 25 things that only took me 25 years to realize. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

1. Spaghettio’s and wine are my dinner specialties more nights than not. If the Kroger cashier judges me one more time for buying wine in bulk… your girl is just trying to get her 6 bottle discount.

2. Coffee is a necessary evil. I say this because I am allergic. I’m talking heart racing and sweat sessions #sexy

3. Time flies by faster and faster each year. Oh to be back in college when I swore I would never make it out of there. What I would give for time to slow down like that now.

4. Your high school bod is a thing of the past. Goodbye perky butt, hello cellulite. O and prepare for everything to change. Hair type, eyebrows (so not on fleek), adult acne, body pains. Everything your mom warned you about.

5. Always take the road less traveled. Even if it is just the stairs vs the elevator 😉 because that’s a good tip in itself.

6. Nobody has it figured out in their 20s and if they say that they do, they are LYING. I’ve come to find out that we are all just children pretending to be adults. Except some of us have to try a little harder than others. That would be me.

7. Friends that you thought would be around to support your wildest dreams will fall short. Others will come into your life unexpectedly and make the biggest impact. Funny how that happens.

8. God never gives us more than we can handle.

9. You are supposed to put more into your savings account than you take out. I swear you’d think they would teach these things in grade school but some of us don’t learn that till our 20s.

 10. Girls are bitches. That’s right, I said it. Unfortunately you will never outgrow the girl drama. Some girls just thrive on it. Run from those girls and don’t look back.

11. Surround yourself with people that will tell it like it is. Nothing is more refreshing than the truth.

12. Don’t settle. Not for a boy, for a job, for a promotion, nothing. You simply deserve the best.

13. Hangovers exist. And they suck.

14. Learn to stand up for yourself. Confidence isn’t something you are born with, it’s something that is developed and the more you practice, the easier it will be.

15. You learn to appreciate your parents so much more and also realize it’s mostly because everything that they ever said turned out to all be right.

16. Laughter is the best medicine. It always pairs nicely with a bottle of wine and girlfriends. I hear it’s much cheaper than therapy and a good ab workout too.

17. Be unapologetic for who you are and never ever feel like you have to explain yourself.

18. Your time and energy are so much better spent being happy for other people than tearing them down. Negative energy takes years off your life. Seriously.

19. Cozying up on the couch is pretty much the equivalent of a rager. Fuzzy socks just add to the cool factor.

20. Brunch is always a good idea. It serves as 2 meals now how genius is that?!

21. Every experience, every action and every person shapes who you are. So rid yourself of the negative influences and surround yourself with positivity.

22. You are exactly where you need to be. It may not feel like it, but have faith that God’s plan is far greater than anything you could have ever imagined.

23. If a friendship or relationship feels forced, it’s not worth your time.

24. Mornings are when all of the magic happens. I think mom referred to those as the witching hours but dang are they the productive ones.

25. Everything is temporary. The good and the bad. So I’m learning to soak up the good times and not dwell on the bad.

Well folks, now that I am 25 do I look and sound that much wiser?! Because I’m pretty sure I woke up feeling super mature. That’s probably just the birthday excitement getting to my head though 🙂

GIVEAWAY

In honor of my birthday and continuing on with the 12 Days of Christmas giveaways, I have partnered with Beehive to gift one follower a $100 gift card. Beehive is one of my newest boutique finds with a retro feel to it that I just love. They have locations in Austin and Houston but they also have an online boutique. You must COMMENT on this blog post to enter. For additional entries, complete the below steps. The more you complete, the better your odds of winning!

1. COMMENT on this blog post

2. Follow me on Bloglovin’ here

3. Go like my Facebook page here

4. Follow me on Instagram here

5. Follow me on Pinterest here

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