Happy Thanksgiving friends! Before I go stuff my face (and probably drink a little too much wine) with family, I wanted to share some cute and punny instagram captions for all of those grams I know you’ll be posting later on when you’ve turned into a couch potato!
Let’s get basted
I yam what I yam
Fifty shades of gravy
Zero plucks given
Eat hard, nap harder
I get pie with a little help from my friends
Hey there, cutie pie
Eyes on the pies
My role at family functions is to look the best and drink the wine
Eat, drink, and wear stretchy pants
What a cluster pluck
May your pants stay stretchy, your glasses stay full, and your family avoid talking politics
Turkey and wine and I’m feeling fine
Every day is leg day
I cran and I will go back for seconds
Too soon for leftovers? Asking for a friend.
Nobody puts gravy in the corner
Gobble ’til you wobble
This is a reminder to set your scale back ten pounds this weekend
Family, turkey, and football — oh my!
Let’s give ’em pumpkin to talk about
Cranberries without vodka? Must be Thanksgiving
It’s all gravy, baby
Official occupation: couch potato
Is it time for leftovers yet?
Thanksgiving is plucking awesome
To do: Eat, drink, nap. Repeat.
Alexa: activate feast mode
My fondest Thanksgiving memory is sitting at the kids table and not being judged
My mom’s Facebook friends are going to lose it over these Family pics
Staying single, eating double, drinking triple
One of my biggest fears is that I’ll marry into a family that runs 5ks on holidays
Get your fat pants ready
Keep calm and gobble on
You know I’m all about that baste
Sweatpants are all that fit me right now
Just keep eating, just keep eating
Pro tip: You don’t have to answer your family’s questions if your mouth is full of food
Mom asked what I was making for Thanksgiving, I said ” a scene”
Let’s play “how drunk can I get at the family gathering without them knowing?”
Pies before guys
You miss 100% of the leftovers you don’t take
Clear plates, full stomachs, can’t lose
If you ran a 5K this morning, we are not the same
No relationships were harmed in the making of this Thanksgiving dinner
Red wine pairs best with my relatives
Thanksgiving is a marathon, not a sprint
If there are leftovers, you’re just not trying hard enough
No food left behind
It’s all fun and games, until your pants don’t fit anymore
Someone recently asked me if I preferred deep or witty Instagram captions and I think you all know the answer to that one. I pride myself on witty, funny captions because my philosophy is that we could all use a little smile or giggle while scrolling through Instagram am I right?! In addition to all of the best Fall, pumpkin, and Halloween captions out there, I’m also including links to all of my favorite Fall outfits as well as the best spots in Houston to get your basic ol’ pumpkin pictures.
“Sweater weather is better together”
“If you have never FALLen in love at first sight, you’re shopping on the wrong site😉“
“Bet you didn’t know that girls get even more basic when the temps drop did you?”
“Give em pumpkin to talk about…”
“I’m so happy to live in a world where there are Octobers”
Keep calm and Fall on
Fall is in the air
The only thing getting ‘lit’ this weekend are my fall scented candles
Oh my gourd I love fall.
Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s maple leaves.
It’s Fall, y’all.
Help! I’ve FALLen and I can’t get up
Don’t stop be-leafing.
New season, who ‘dis?
Cutest pumpkin at the patch
How ’bout them apples?
Autumn skies and pumpkin pies.
Wake me up when September ends
Where does all my money go? It’s like hocus pocus I’m brokus.
Fall is my second favorite F word.
Here we see basic bitches in their natural habitat.
PUMPKIN SPICE CAPTIONS
“RIP to all of the money I’ve spent on PSL’s this Fall”
“Pumpkin spice and everything nice”
“If pumpkin spice lattes didn’t exist, neither would I”
“Fall so hard motherpumpkins wanna spice me”
“They say you are what you eat…well then I’m definitely turning in to a pumpkin”
“My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pumpkin and the spice 🎃“
“Pumpkin spice up your life”
Pumpkin flavor my damn oxygen
It’s okay, pumpkin. I’m extra too
Will open the door for pumpkin spice anything.
What’s my blood type? Pumpkin spice.
STOP PREMATURE PUMPKIN SPICING
Scary. Posh. Pumpkin. Baby. Sporty, Ginger.
Life hack: drink 13 PSLs in a row, and your bathroom will smell just like Fall!
We go together like pumpkin and spice
Thanks a latte.
Stressed, blessed and pumpkin spice obsessed
Let there be pumpkin spice!
It’s 97 degrees outside, keep your pumpkin spice away from my margarita!
You had me at PSL
How to enjoy a PSL. Step 1: throw it in the trash.
I love you more than a basic bitch loves pumpkin spice.
Can a person live off of pumpkin flavored everything? Asking for a friend.
If it isn’t pumpkin spice, I dont want it.
“Witch way to the wine”
Creep it real
Get in loser, we’re going trick or treating
If you’ve got it, haunt it
Trick or trick yo’ self.
I’m here for the boos
Resting witch face
All the dust and cobwebs in my house just became decorations. Thanks Halloween!
If you were a ghost, you’d still be my boo.
If one door closes and another door opens, your house is probably haunted.
“Oh look, another glorious morning. Makes me sick!” -Hocus Pocus
Witch way to the candy?
Hocus pocus, I need coffee to focus.
Halloween is not a day. It’s a lifestyle.
Life is scary, find your boo.
HOUSTON PUMPKIN PHOTO SPOTS
Corneulius Nursery– In the heart of Houston and where about 99% of these photos were taken. Great nursery year round but especially love them this time of year. They also already have their Christmas trees/decor out at this point!
Blessington Farms– This place has everything! Blueberry and strawberry picking. Tons of games and hayrides. Currently home to an adorable pumpkin patch out past Katy in Willis, TX.
Faith United Methodist Church– If you are near the Woodlands area, this Church has a pretty big selection and is very family friendly. They aren’t activities but if you need to buy a pumpkin, this is perfect for that!
Old Time Christmas Tree Farm– Located in Spring, TX it is normally a Christmas Tree farm but their pumpkin patch during October and November is amazing plus lots of fun activities for the entire family.
St. Luke’s United Methodist– Beautiful church in the heart of Houston. There are no other activities besides picking pumpkins and taking cute photos!
Tomball Corn Maze– A 5 acre corn maze + pumpkin patch. Check out their website for themed weekends as well as speciality food trucks.
Dewberry Farms Pumpkin Patch– An 8 acre farm located in Brookshire, TX. You could spend all day here! It is the priciest but largest selection of pumpkins and arguably the best for photos.