Dress: Envy Couture by Anil | Photography by: Banavenue
Well the day we ALL have been waiting for is finally here. We can all rest easy tonight knowing that we have 12 weeks of
hopelessly romantic insanely awkward encounters. Let’s be honest, it’s really just an excuse to get together with friends and throw back a few bottles of wine while watching an absolute train wreck. It’s where we can find a little hope that our lives aren’t nearly as embarrassing or terrible as ABC makes these people’s out to be. In case you forgot, last season a girl announced to all of America that she had a certain issue in the bedroom. So if you think you have it bad, things could be much worse.
As much as I hate on the Bachelor/Bachelorette, you will find me, a Chipotle bowl, my fuzzy socks and a bottle of wine posted up on the couch every Monday night at approximately 6:59. I used to be able to wait until about 7:30 or 8 so that I could fast forward through commercials, but 1) that’s less time to drink wine and 2) thanks to social media and the 5 different Bachelor watch party group texts that I am in, it would be social suicide not to be watching it live. Can you imagine the horror of someone else watching something uber embarrassing or downright funny before you’ve had the first laugh?! Not ok.
Let’s talk a little bit about how the first night will inevitably go down. You will have a slew of men show up and introduce themselves to the bachelorette. The majority of these first impressions will be something cringe worthy that you will probably have to hide halfway under a blanket just to stomach the second hand embarrassment. Then you will have the few guys that try the safe route and just offer a “hey, how are you tonight”. LAME. I prefer the cringe-worthy moments if we are being honest. Makes for better entertainment.
You will find out that there are “jobs” that you didn’t even know existed or ones that could hardly be called a profession. You make money from that? Teach all of America your ways please. For instance, this season we have a tickle monster, aspiring drummer, former professional basketball player (ok not bad, but like what do you do now?), and a Whaboom (WTF??). All I know is that if you can make a living off of tickling, sign me up.
After the men make their way into the Bachelor pad, you will immediately start to see the drama unfold. We start to see who is supposedly there for the “right reasons” and who is just there to catch some fame. Someone might cry night one. In fact, it isn’t an episode of the Bachelor after all if someone doesn’t cry. Someone always cries. If I was the betting type, I’d also bet that at least one guy will get drunk and make a fool out of themselves.
Whatever happens tonight, you know it’s going to be the MOST dramatic and best episode that you are EVER going to see in television history. And if it doesn’t turn out that way, there is a 99.9% chance that next week’s preview will tell you that is the case too. And the week after that. And well, every week after that. Somehow every week earns that title and we all get sucked into the madness. So cheers to a drama-filled and wine-induced season!