Dress: REVOLVE | Clutch: REVOLVE | Shoes: Similar
If you are riding the single train this Valentine’s Day and I was the betting type, I’d bet that you are on one end of the spectrum or the other. You either hate today or could absolutely care less. I’ll cut to the chase and let you in on a secret, I could honestly care less. In fact, I had forgotten about the holiday and celebrating it with a significant other until social media shoved the notion down my throat a few days ago. Now if you asked me a year ago how I felt about being single on Valentine’s Day my answer would be completely different than it is today. In fact, I wrote an entire blog post on the how much I hated the holiday here. And while I still really love that post, my feelings towards today and my season of singleness have changed entirely.
Today marks exactly one year since my last first date. One year since my first heart break. And one year that I’ve truly been single. Would you believe me if I told you that is by far the longest that I’ve been single? Up until last year, I had never been without a boyfriend on Valentine’s Day. Well not since high school at least. I jumped from boyfriend to boyfriend for 8 years straight without ever truly being single for long.
And after being single for 365 days I can tell you this. I am thankful for my season of singleness and what it has taught me about myself. How much it has grown me as a young lady and made me figure out how to love myself. I am thankful that through the hurt it brought some of the best days of my life. For without the heartbreak and the soul searching I know for a fact that I wouldn’t have quit my job, I wouldn’t have traveled the world, and I wouldn’t have found such contentment and confidence in the life I have created.
More than being thankful for my season of singleness, I am proud. And while it would be nice to have someone to text throughout the day, share a pizza with, fix my car, see a movie with, snuggle with, laugh with, do absolutely nothing with, blah blah blah, the act of having to do these things alone has given me such a since of empowerment, confidence and appreciation. And through the soul searching and new found love for myself I can confidently say that being single is exactly where I need to be.
If you are alone this Valentine’s Day, recently single, or maybe you’ve been in this season for longer than you are wanting to be- here are some things to remember and celebrate that all of you helped played a hand in reminding me this week.
NOW IS THE TIME TO BE SELFISH
You have your entire life to be with somebody else. While there are so many wonderful and special things about being in a relationship, it also comes with certain burdens. You will have someone else to answer to, check in with, plan around, share costs with, and split your time with. Now is the time to spend too much money, go on that trip because you can, move to a new city, quit your job, start a new job, find a new hobby, and honestly do anything you want. There is not a reason in the world that you cannot do whatever it is your heart desires.
IT’S OK TO BE PICKY
Date if you want to date. Or don’t. It is your choice and your choice alone. The older you get, the more against the norm it is to be single but what my season of singleness (and probably age) has taught me is that we are the lucky ones. We are the ones that have experienced more life. More grief. More soul searching. More happiness. More understanding. We know what we like and don’t like. We know what we deserve and what we aren’t willing to settle for. The longer we are single, the more we realize how much we have to give up to be in a relationship and if it’s anything short of a fairytale, well then it’s just not worth it.
FIND YOURSELF BEFORE YOU FIND THE ONE
If I had to pick one reason why all of my relationships didn’t last, it was most certainly (as cliche as it sounds) because I needed to find myself and I couldn’t do that while I was with someone. I needed time, space and a lot of soul searching. And with each new boyfriend I thought that maybe they could help me figure out what I was supposed to be doing with my life or how to fully achieve contentment. But this is not anyone else’s job but our own to feel content and secure in who we are. I have grown more, seen more, discovered more in the past year than I have my entire life. Our season of singleness allows us to figure out what drives us, motivates us, what makes us feel alive and happy. And when the right person does come along, they will appreciate how well you know yourself and feel secure in who you are.